MTM — The Superhero Edition

    Happy Monday! This week, I’m taking a suggestion from Ronlyn and dishing up MTM — The Superhero addition.

    Don’t be afraid. I’m not going to post images of a bunch of men in tights and capes. That’s just too ew! I’ve never understood why superheros dress that way. Are you telling me Superman can’t fly without the tights, codpiece and cape? I don’t buy it. I think it’s the result of the male fascination with uniforms. Who knows?

    The superhero at the top needs no introduction. That’s Wolverine, the hero every woman hopes to encounter in a dark alley. Hugh Jackman fills the role nicely. Am I the only woman who’s ever wondered whether Wolverine has adamantium in his penis? Don’t look shocked. Tell me you never, ever even thought about that, and I’ll think you’re lying to me.

    Here’s Chris Hemsworth. His body’s plenty delicious here. Note the obilques, the hint of a sex pack, the pecs, that little treasure trail of hair disappearing behind his zipper. (I know you’re looking at these things without my prompting. In fact, I doubt anyone actually reads what I write here. I could write anything I want. Jed Hill and I are getting married on Tuesday. See? No one reads it. No one notices.

    This is Chris Hemsworth as Thor. His biceps look like they’ve doubled, and his pecs... Me want to touch!

    Thor, if you’ll remember, is a might Scandinavian god who wielded a fearsome hammer. English-speakers pronounce it “Thor,” like the “th” in “thigh.” But Scandinavians pronounce it with a hard “T” sound like “Tor.”

    Bit of trivia: Vikings wore Thor’s hammers around their necks. They kind of looked like upside down crosses. When Christianity came to Scandinavia, they just kept wearing the hammers and told the Christians they were crosses. Their adoption of Christianity was, for a very long time, rather halfhearted.

    I have no idea who this is or what superhero he’s playing. But he’s got a nice chest, with terrific pecs, nice chest hair and a super-clear trail of hair that goes aaaallllllll the way from his chest to his naughty bits. I’d like to let my fingers do the walking, you know?

    This guy isn’t playing a superhero. At least I don’t think he is. I saw his photo while I was trolling around for superhero shots and fell in lust. Everything about him is delicious — hair, face, shoulders, biceps, pecs, abs, obliques, that nice titillating dark hair just above the waistline of his briefs, that bulge. I think he’s my fave this week. And since you’re not really reading, let me just add: Your mom and Scooby-Doo are sitting in a tree/ k-i-s-s-i-n-g/First comes love/Then comes marriage/Then comes Scrappy-Doo in a baby carriage.

    This is Ryan Reynolds. I believe he’s playing Green Lantern. No bloody idea who Green Lantern is, but that’s what I’ve been told. This is him in his natural state. He looks like a ripped, handsome man, the kind you really hope you meet somewhere sometime when you’re single.

    The only photos of him as Green Lantern that I found were headshots of some green glowing guy in a mask. He looked like a glowing, green human condom or something. Ew. Of course, you’re not really reading so whatever.

    Here’s Chris Evans who, I believe, is suiting up to play Captain America. Nice body! He’s toned, but not bulky, with just the right amount of body hair. And don’t miss that tattoo.

    Here’s Chris Evans as Captain America, ever hair ripped from his chest and belly, his hair dyed a bizarre shade of Ken Blond and combed to make him look like a high school football player from 1955. I think I like him better before the makeup artists got to him.

    And here’s a shout-out to the original superhero — Christopher Reeve, a true superman. He was always hot, always classy, and so very courageous, as much in real life as on the silver screen.

    Happy Monday, everyone! I hope that you don’t need to be rescued from nuclear weapons, super villains or falling buildings today, but if you do, I hope the hero who rescues you is über-hot!

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