MTM — Men of the Military

    Welcome to Man-Titty Monday — Men of the Military.

    It’s no secret that women admire a man in uniform, but it’s not the uniform that does it. It’s what the uniform represents — a man who isn’t afraid to stand up and take responsibility, putting his life on the line to protect others. In a world where most people — men and women — are selfish and self-centered, there are still some people who are willing to make sacrifices.

    As you all know, I’ve become close to a Diné and Lakota people and culture as a result of my time spent reporting on Indian issues. One thing I learned from them and then passed to my boys was the concept of the warrior.

    We hear “warrior,” and we think of war. But that’s not what being a warrior is all about. A warrior is someone who uses his strength and skill to take care of those around him. He takes the burden of others’ welfare on his shoulders without asking for recognition or reward. It could be as simple as shoveling the snow off an elderly woman’s sidewalk. It could be acting as a role model for the kids of a single mother who have no male influence. It could mean protecting a woman from an abusive man. Or it could mean going to war.

    My grandmother’s theory was that God gave men strength so that they could have a purpose in life — lifting heavy things. I’ve raised my boys to believe that the have physical strength for one reason — to serve and protect those who are weaker than they are. A man who willingly accepts that responsibility is a warrior.

    All of my heroes are warriors, and Zach McBride from Breaking Point is no exception. A former Navy SEAL, he currently serves as a chief deputy U.S. marshal working the line — the U.S./Mexico border. It’s in honor of him — perhaps my most heroic hero — that we celebrate MTM — Men of the Military.

    A part of me felt a little guilty for doing this, because I take military service pretty seriously. I felt guilty reducing men in uniform to photographs that we can ogle.

    And then I saw the photographs. ;-)

    I love the photo above, and so will those of you who love lean muscle. The man is strong. He’s ripped, but he’s not the least bit bulky. And then there are veins... Yes, veins. If I ever decide to embed with the military, I hope I ended up embedded with him. (The word “bed” is right in the middle of “embedded.” I like that.)

    Here’s a man with an intense stare, GI haircut — and a not-so-GI earring. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be wearing that with the rest of his uniform. But earring aside, this guy kind of reminds me of David Beckham. And that’s never a bad thing.

    This is a true military man, not a model. I’m not sure where he is in this world — clearly someplace hot. He has shed his shirt, baring some nice pecs, abs and obliques, along with his dog tags — just plain sexy, aren’t they? — and some nice tats.

    In a word, yum.

    Here are some Navy SEALs training. Zach was a Navy SEAL. He volunteered after 9/11. There’s a whole backstory there that I won’t reveal.

    To write Breaking Point, I spent weeks watching documentaries, researching and reading about the training Navy SEALs endure — pretty much the toughest military training on the planet. I have a relative who is a SEAL, and he made himself available to answer questions.

    Actually, what he said was, “I’ve got 300 guys here happy to help you out.” It took a lot of self-restraint for me not to buy a plane ticket, let me tell you. Three hundred Navy SEALs?

    Let’s just say that if I’m ever captured by loathsome Somalian pirates, I want the Navy SEALs to come to my rescue.

    I’m not sure which branch of the service this excellent specimen of military manhood represents. But I do see that he is reading. I hope it was an enjoyable read and that he’s safely back in the United States now. He has clearly served his country in two important ways: 1) serving in a war zone and 2) allowing this scrumptious photo to be taken. Very nice pecs and shoulders.

    These are Navy SEALs deployed in Iraq who are about to go on a mission. When I saw this photo, I instantly thought of Zach — and the real risks these heroes face each day.

    But while I was thinking about Zach and the heroic actions of our troops, I couldn’t help notice the purrfect V this man has going on — broad shoulders, slim hips — or his triceps or his tribal tattoos.

    Yes, I am capable of thinking on many planes at once from the lofty to the lustful.

    Here’s a SEAL team on a dock somewhere. Or maybe they’re on a ship. I have no idea. Here are the real bodies of real heroes — chest hair, muscles and all. We get so used to seeing models and super-ripped guys who spend five hours a day in the gym, that it’s nice to see what real men actually look like. SEALs are among the most mentally and emotionally tough men in the world, and here they are in their shorts — not waxed, not so ripped they could cut glass with their abs, not tanned and oiled. Real men with a real mission.

    That does something for me.

    “Wet and sandy” is a phrase with a special meaning for any man who has made it through BUD/s — basic SEAL training. It means something different but also very special to me. All I know is that any red-blooded heterosexual woman would be thrilled to get wet and sandy with these two SEALs.

    Wherever SEALs train, they must have to put up a 12-foot security fence to keep out the women. I envision a tall fence with women carrying binoculars standing on one side, SEAL teams training on the other.

    I hope you’ve enjoyed this edition of MTM. It’s given you a taste of Zach McBride, the hero of Breaking Point. For a full-sized bite, you have to wait until May 3.

    Happy Monday, everyone!

    And let’s hold our servicemen tight today. In our hearts, I mean.

    Coming Tuesday: I-Team Trivia answers and prizes!

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