MTM — Game of Thrones edition

    If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re missing out. HBO’s new series GAME OF THRONES is exciting, creative and fun — and that’s just the opening sequence with all of its clever pieces that pop up and become castles.

    Typical of HBO series, it features a lot of hot guys who often get naked. Though I’d say there’s been more naked women on this show than men, still, the guys are hot.

    Above we have Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, a Danish actor remembered for his role in Black Hawk Down, who plays the loathsome Jamie Lannister, a highborn knight and king-slayer who also shags his sister. While I hate, hate, hate his character, he is just damned hot. And, yes, he is Danish, which scores huge points for me. (Those of you who remember the research about penis size that was recently released will recall that Denmark did itself proud, much better than the U.S.)

    Here he is displaying his fine chesticles — one for those of you who don’t like super beefy guys. Toned with nice definition, he also has an almost obscenely handsome face.

    Kit Harington plays Jon Snow, Lord Stark’s bastard son, who has taken “the black,” i.e., joined The Watch on the big ice wall that separates the realm from the wilding and snow vampires beyond. Because he serves in an icy part of the land — and because taking the black means forsaking sex — we only ever see him dressed in furs and armor.

    However, he kicks butt in that armor, showing the other recruits for the Watch exactly what they’re supposed to be able to do with a long piece of metal called a sword.

    I suspect that this vow of celibacy will be challenged later in the series. At least I hope it will. In fact, part of me is counting on it. His face is so expressive that he’s a scene stealer every time he appears.

    Here’s one of my personal favorite actors — Sean Bean. We remember him as Boromir from Lord of the Rings, but he’s played all kinds of characters from terrorists to heroes. In GAME OF THRONES, he plays Lord Stark, a man whose sense of honor looks like it might get him killed.

    Here he is a bit younger and a bit beat up. There’s something about him lying mostly naked in bed, covered with bruises, scowling and holding a gun that really does it for me. If only he could open up his mouth and talk. That northern accent is just damned sexy.

    I’ve always thought it must have been easy for him to learn to spell. All he had to do was memories “e-a-n” and then alternate between “S” for his first name and “B” for his last name. But the pronunciation must have been confusion. Why isn’t his name pronounced SHAWN BAWN or SEEN BEEN? These are the mysteries I contemplate late at night when I’m exhausted from re-editing a book I wrote five years ago.

    This is none other than Jason Mamoa. Above we see him in his Hawaiian habitat, but below we get a glimpse of him as a barbarian — a role at which he excels. Clearly having hit the gym since his surfer days, Mamoa plays Khal Drogo on the program, a barbarian horse lord to whom young deposed princess Daenarys Targaryen is forced to marry early in the season. Their wedding night doesn’t even constitute “forced seduction.” Drogo simply removes her gown, bends her over and does the deed while Daenarys cries. (Mamoa reportedly had a difficult time with the scene.) Of course, Daenarys falls in love with him....

    Here’s Jason in his Conan days. Not sure what iteration of Conan he was in. A film with the title “Conan the Barbarian” is guaranteed not to draw me into theaters, though perhaps I should re-evaluate my position. Because make no mistake, Mamoa is hot. At 6-foot-4, he must be quite the sight nude on set. And, yes, he has been naked. (Hey, wait! Finish MTM first. You can subscribe to HBO later!)

    Here he is as Khal Drogo on his wedding night girded in all manner of barbarian gibbeltry. I don’t buy that any true barbarian would wear that outfit on his wedding night. It’s hard to get to the relevant body part beneath all of that stuff — beads, lizard skins, dried seaweed, shells, braids of slain enemies, dragon teeth, leather...

    Enjoy your Monday! Maybe a few daydreams about some barbarian lord lifting you off your feet and onto his horse will keep you going through the day.

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